Would you like to know why Neil Simon’s early playThe Star Spangled Girl is never performed? The reason is obvious at Mesa Encore Theatre. Political correctness, high profile stalking cases, and The Silence of the Lambs have killed the potential humor conjured up by the young Simon. Think I’m being too harsh? Here’s a quote from Simon himself in 1977 about the whole sorry affair, “Star Spangled Girl is clearly and simply a failure, as far as I’m concerned. It’s the only play I ever wrote where I did not have a clear visual image of the characters in my mind as I sat down at the typewriter. Walter Kerr wisely wrote, ‘Neil Simon didn’t have an idea for a play this year, but he wrote it anyway.’ Thank you, Walter.” And thank you, Neil. First produced in 1966 in between Sweet Charity and Plaza Suite, the play featured Simon’s usual clever one liners and a plot so awkward and rooted in the era that it ran for a paltry 261 performances before limping off to become a flop movie in 1971 to finally disappear into a world where even community and dinner theatres wouldn’t touch it. Except, for some reason, director Crystal Loven-Schmahl and MET. Now I must admit, there are some moments of genuine laughter, because even the worst of Simon still has the playwright’s witty dialogue and zingers available. However, the plot’s love affair and politics have fallen far behind the times and slid into areas one could never foresee in the era of flower power.

The rampant misogyny evident in Simon’s early works (hey, he was a product of his generation) is even more creepily enforced here. I mean, really, hiring a secretary to cook and dust in a cute apron? The action of the play, in which radical writer Norman (Robert Lindner) performs increasingly uncomfortable acts to secure the love of his patriotic and engaged-to-a-Marine neighbor Sophie (Heather Cambanes) against the wishes and advice of his editor/roomie Andy (Ryan McCrobie) becomes more and more akin to the kind of stalking that led to the death of Rebecca Schaeffer.  Also, the thin excuse starting the stalking, falling deeply into love with the “smell” of someone, smacks of a justification straight from Hannibal Lecter. I’m not sure that any of Simon’s verbal jewels are worth all of this.

However, MET did. The production they’ve mounted features an impressive and pretty accurate set from Michael Peck, two engaging performances (Cambanes and McCrobie), good blocking by Loven-Schmahl highlighted by an enjoyable chase scene and a hilariously staged fight, and a whole host of wincing moments when people profess love and defend their politics in evermore bewildering and sometimes just plain icky ways. The rest, like Lindner’s hesitating acting and lack of connection with the other two performers, Loven-Schmahl and Chris Carson’s two-thirds-completed costume design, and the scene changes that inadvertently led to the biggest laugh of the afternoon, is sadly subpar. It’s a shame, because Cambanes and McCrobie look like they are potentially good performers who could do a lot if given actual material with which to work. They have a great bond, and when they work together, the play livens up despite what they are actually saying. Loven-Schmahl’s direction, too, offers hints of cleverness and insight, but it’s all wrapped up in unbelievable characters in unbelievable situations doing really unbelievable things.