As a good little Catholic boy, I was taught many different beliefs. Tonight at the Mesa Art Center, two of these beliefs came crashing into opposition against each other. The statements: "If you've been given something for free (as in tickets), never leave in the midst of a performance," and "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all." As a critic going into my fourth season in Phoenix, I'm proud to say that I've never left a performance, until tonight, when the latter statement proved the stronger of the two.
While it's true in my profession that I'm constantly stumbling over the second statement, I've always been able to find something nice to say about a show, even if almost all of the comments were bad. I even had been looking forward to seeing this production, having heard solid comments about prior performances of the material. After an act-and-a-half of the three act production of Victoria Safriet's A Silent Accord of Transience: The Aluminum Can Man Trilogy, though, I realized that nothing, neither the design, performances, writing, or direction, would allow me to find even the slightest glimmer of a nice thing to say about the evening.
I would have left at the end of the first act, as my companion was threatening to drive off without me, but I bargained with her to give the show a fighting chance, despite the horrific start to the evening, still desperately clasping to my first and strongest belief. Twenty minutes into the second act, though, as things got even worse than imaginable, I could not convince myself of any more of this charity. We prayed for the enveloping storm outside to snuff the lights and aid in our hasty retreat, but the Fates were not kind. I wound up having to slink from the theatre, mourning the defeat of my greatest held belief.
And so I will not convey the grisly facts of my hour and twenty minute ordeal. Should anyone in the company desire more details about my hopelessly negative opinions, I'll be glad to explain, even if reliving this evening would not be the greatest joy of my life. As for any prospective theatre goers, I can only say this: with nothing nice to say, I am left with the wise words posted above the entrance to Dante's Inferno: "Abandon hope, all ye that enter here." Perhaps the evening will not be as bad if you do so.
Production Details:
A Silent Accord of
Transience; The Aluminum Can Man Trilogy
by Victoria Safriet
Mesa Art Center, Mesa
994-0497
August 20th-September 5th, 1998